EXCURSION (Prof humor)

The tour guide should know any address in the city. And even where The house is 50E in an unknown alley. You're a tour guide, you're a tour guide. You drive the city, you have to know everything.

The tour guide should answer in what theater is going today What kind of movies are there in all theaters? Must know the price. ticket and session time. Tour guide.

The tour guide knows all the food points in the city and always tell you where the cheapest shawarma, in which The restaurant sends a guest to the area. More than that.

He has tried all the dishes and knows how to cook them.

The tour guide knows all public transport routes. All stops and easily tell on the phone how to go if you are standing – well, here. There's a printout at the kiosk.

The tour guide personally knows all the deputies, artists, writers, poets, musicians and even Uncle Vasya who wrote such glue The song, there's the words trawla la la chorus. They can easily tell their addresses and telephones. You know everyone here in the city.

The tour guide should read all the books and cite any The work is not related to the topic of the tour. You haven’t read that yet – a snorkel!

The tour guide at any time of the day must answer with To the question of any event in world history. The tour guide, how you don't know which one In the year Vanka from the village of Bolshaya Brusyany, Beloyarsk district, married Mashka from a neighboring village. And what year? The Roman patrician issued an order increase in taxes.

It doesn't matter what topics the tour guide leads. He must distinguish. Simple birch from warty, know all asphalt fractions, pea recipe Porridge 3 plates eaten by the Urals distiller in the 18th century. And of course remember by heart. The name of the grandmother of the Ural gold miner whose house we saw there. Here, about 10 minutes ago.

Tour guide should conduct excursions in all languages What kind of tourist will come to him? Why can't you do that? A tour for two African tourists who speak their own language?

The tour guide should navigate in any village, know all asphalt and dirt roads and it is easy to show the way to the driver where I didn't, so I'd better explain it on the phone. Hello, tell me, I'm standing at a fork here, there's another birch here. Bigger, where further to go...

The tour guide should conduct any tour, even if he I heard about it for the first time, never been there, no idea where it is. But with quotations, songs, specific historical facts and that all I liked it.

Tour guide, even waking up at night easily tell the name of the ridge, cliff, rock and natural monument from anywhere in Russia, or At least in the Sverdlovsk region. There's a small river under the Serf River. What's the name?

Tour guide going on vacation will easily tell friends The story, the date of birth, and the owner of that red house on the left.

The tour guide should lead the tour for everyone, even if in bus for 50 seats there is no microphone and it is collected pensioners, children 3 years old, 7 class of elite gymnasium, a couple of deaf and a dozen foreigners. You do that. I liked it and it wasn’t boring, but I did.

The tour guide should know the names and faces of all of his tourists. You and I drove around the city 5 years ago. The tour of the station began.

The tour guide knows where and how to buy souvenirs, a car. apartment, skates, swimming swimsuits, glasses, cosmetics, etc. Well, you know where You can buy cheap jeans.

The tour guide knows not only the names, but also properties and everything. customs associated with stone. What happens if a piece of coil is rubbed in full moon on the right heel...

The tour guide will always lend you a mug, an umbrella, bagels, cell phone and any amount of money. I'm sorry, I'll call my mom right away. He's resting in Egypt.

It’s always your fault, whether it’s cold. bus, bad soup, rough chauffeur, short-sighted manager, hard bed and the cost of the tour. Why can't the driver turn the lights on? I read, did my neighbor sleep?

To be continued.